Photo by Deviantart.net (chicoboto.jpg)
These broken wings smartly sting but if you listen closely they also sing
Songs of sadness, songs of loss, songs that prevent me from paying the cost
It must be paid! Wisdom cries out, searching for someone to take the blame.
But I have suffered, I’ve been alone. What more do you want- to share in my shame?
Daily Prompt: Sting
I’m somewhere in the in-between of holding on and letting go
I’m neither here nor there as my mind ponders what to do
If there’s a whole world out there waiting to take my hand
It’s too bad I can’t take control of what’s happening in this land.
I’m trying to let you go but how many times must my love be tried
The silence and blank stare from your dark eyes, could it be a lie?
Has the love disappeared once and for all- please tell me it’s not true.
I loved you the moment I saw you- your muscular body was my refuge
I grew up with you, had your babies, and now I’m just someone you knew.
Why am I not good enough? I don’t understand. Except, there’s this. I’m not thin. I’m not smart. I don’t reach for your hand. I stare at your mouth and then look away- remembering every day. I’m a stupid bitch and a selfish little thing. I can’t please you, why do I try? Everything I say and do you say you see the truth. My reality is different and I think you know the rouse. No matter though, this whole languid Greek tragedy is over.
O’ why can’t I get out of here! Is it comfort, malaise, or not knowing how to deal?
I stare blankly into your eyes and you grasp me firmly in your arms- I scream, let me go!
You look away and then turn back with tears- what story line have you dreamed up?
This is it, yes is it, there is no other way. I push you off the cliff and you holler, still holding my hand.
We lay beside each other on the ground, black eyes shining- and a single raven…circling around.
Cranberry lips leave a thin line around the rim
He doesn’t remove it- thinks it’s hot and I’m fine
Wet lips explore his mouth and he tastes me like sweet candy
Relishing the intimate moments we’re daring to share
In the quiet of the moonlight we take our time to touch
To feel his large hands cupping me it’s almost. too. much.
Love or lust? Does it matter? Do I care?
His dark eyes and warm tan body makes me want to sin
Suddenly we are skin to skin and my hand rubs up and down him.
I am somewhere else not where I am lost in this daisy atmosphere going up, up, up
I was in a good place the other day but now I’m drifting away- too far, too much
As if there were no gravity to hold my soul in place and it hurts as it’s being torn out
The bpd is getting the best of me driving people I love away- even after he took me back
What kind of a fool am I that my mind torments me so as indelicacy grips my ribs and won’t let go
Will I survive another day to endure more of myself or at least what is left of this mad hat sanity
I am somewhere else not where I am and lost in this daisy atmosphere.
Trying to unravel these ravings that ravish my mind tied up as they are in time
The dirtiness abounds the cravings become and I try to behave like a normal being
Mortal wounds flare up and push me down as I fondle these letters in my soft hands
Unraveling feelings until raving and partying ravishes my mind warped in time.
I gazed through the open window~Searching, longing, looking~But can’t find the trees today
I played with light yesterday~fading in and out of shadows~But can’t find the light today
I gauged his laughing sounds and mouth~Saving the memory of his face~I can’t find the laughter now
You there, reading my private thoughts~Invasive and intrusive~Demanding a conclusion to this verse~
I’ll write the end you need
Then find a way to help me see.