I’m somewhere in the in-between of holding on and letting go
I’m neither here nor there as my mind ponders what to do
If there’s a whole world out there waiting to take my hand
It’s too bad I can’t take control of what’s happening in this land.
I’m trying to let you go but how many times must my love be tried
The silence and blank stare from your dark eyes, could it be a lie?
Has the love disappeared once and for all- please tell me it’s not true.
I loved you the moment I saw you- your muscular body was my refuge
I grew up with you, had your babies, and now I’m just someone you knew.
If I saunter slowly under the moonlit sky will you stop me and swallow me whole?
Your sweet presence surrounds me squeezing away any hope I had of escaping
I love your warm lips and the feel of your kiss and the way your mouth explores my neck
I love your strong shoulders and tan, muscular chest and the way your hands fondle my breasts
Take me back, take me away, take these tears and fears and run with me to an unexpected place
If you take me under the moonlit sky, sweep me off my feet, stop me and swallow me whole
I will love your warm lips while they explore my neck and beg you to touch me some more.
Something is happening inside of me like a light turning on in the darkness. I squint because it’s so bright and not something I’m used to. Butterflies are in my tummy and my lips part a little to grin. Is this a glimmer of hope that I’m feeling? A candle’s wick silently flickers dimly, in the living room of my heart.
Why am I not good enough? I don’t understand. Except, there’s this. I’m not thin. I’m not smart. I don’t reach for your hand. I stare at your mouth and then look away- remembering every day. I’m a stupid bitch and a selfish little thing. I can’t please you, why do I try? Everything I say and do you say you see the truth. My reality is different and I think you know the rouse. No matter though, this whole languid Greek tragedy is over.
I’m looking for myself today because I’m all alone* I glance out the window and think of my former home *Where have I gone, What have I done, I bend down and pick up a stone*He’s rejected me again, I’m pulling out my hair, will I ever learn? *The rain begins to fall and tempers start to flare*The sound of anger in his voice and his callous stare just breaks my heart and brings me tears*I’m looking for myself today, as he decided not to love me, and is no longer here.
Cranberry lips leave a thin line around the rim
He doesn’t remove it- thinks it’s hot and I’m fine
Wet lips explore his mouth and he tastes me like sweet candy
Relishing the intimate moments we’re daring to share
In the quiet of the moonlight we take our time to touch
To feel his large hands cupping me it’s almost. too. much.
Love or lust? Does it matter? Do I care?
His dark eyes and warm tan body makes me want to sin
Suddenly we are skin to skin and my hand rubs up and down him.
Trying to unravel these ravings that ravish my mind tied up as they are in time
The dirtiness abounds the cravings become and I try to behave like a normal being
Mortal wounds flare up and push me down as I fondle these letters in my soft hands
Unraveling feelings until raving and partying ravishes my mind warped in time.
She grips the pillow tightly like someone may come in the room and take it. Not the one under her strawberry blonde hair, of course, but the one her boyfriend lays on. It’s comforting this cold night. She listens to the low hum of the fan that’s constantly running and that steady droll makes her feel better. There’s a loneliness when the dark world has their eyes shut and you’re the only one awake.
Write something! Break this long, fucking dry spell of writer’s block-even if what comes out completely sucks. Your few fans may understand, being writers themselves. If they laugh at you-you’ll never know it! Hold that head high! Just remind them you’re a stoic poet with a slight sense of humor. And maybe they will come back and read more another day…