I am somewhere else not where I am lost in this daisy atmosphere going up, up, up
I was in a good place the other day but now I’m drifting away- too far, too much
As if there were no gravity to hold my soul in place and it hurts as it’s being torn out
The bpd is getting the best of me driving people I love away- even after he took me back
What kind of a fool am I that my mind torments me so as indelicacy grips my ribs and won’t let go
Will I survive another day to endure more of myself or at least what is left of this mad hat sanity
I am somewhere else not where I am and lost in this daisy atmosphere.
I’m breathless, from running in the meadow deep∼while trying to distinguish the weeds from the trees
I’m panting, mouth open and pleading for more ∼so restless, still moving my tongue back and forth
I’m wanting, from wandering around in the snow∼licking my lips and savoring the cold
I’m falling, from slipping on rocks in the brook∼rubbing my thy up and down where it hurts
I’m confusing sleep with being awake∼fading in and out of dreams as the blood starts to seep.
I watched you kill me a thousand times in life∼before you actually made me die
and now I write to you from the other side∼to say good-bye, beloved Night.
Haunted by your frightening memory and the stormy passion we displayed
I’m now lost amidst the abyss of darkness that surrounds me day after day.
The black sky rains silver streaks of lightning and waves of regret
I look down at vivid colors∼the brilliant display is heaven unabated.
So you finally did it, succeeded in your scheme, but now, my thoughts of you have faded
from somewhere in-between I write to you, my killer∼to say good-bye, beloved Night.
Under the surface of the water she lifts her weary eyelids up and peers
at the sunlit streaming rays pouring through the waves into her soul.
She looks down at her bruised and beaten body-though quite useless at this point
As it lays on the ocean floor beneath.
Shewing the biting fish away she wonders why her spirit hasn’t departed
one way or the other…
Why this hesitation? Why did they leave her behind in the sea?
There are questions to ponder-but somewhere in the wonder
of being caught, in-between, is a revelation of life itself.
She turns and floats deeper into the murky water…
Death came calling but she did not answer.
I gazed through the open window~Searching, longing, looking~But can’t find the trees today
I played with light yesterday~fading in and out of shadows~But can’t find the light today
I gauged his laughing sounds and mouth~Saving the memory of his face~I can’t find the laughter now
You there, reading my private thoughts~Invasive and intrusive~Demanding a conclusion to this verse~
I’ll write the end you need
Then find a way to help me see.
Free! Yet lives the land
An oyster blossoms, a pearl
Glistening cries the sand.
I try to be a good wife
Desperately wanting a better life.
I’m not good enough for him, muttering to herself
I can’t stop, she begins to cry, he doesn’t understand.. hangs me on the shelf.
7 years of marriage, drinking every day
I pander to that man-car begins to sway…
The wrong way, a double yellow line
A truck rear ends her double flips off the bridge
60 foot drop to the highway below
mangled metal crushed and bruised brunette
I really did it this time…
~Now everything is fine.
The crazy guy with the creepy eyes is singing me a lullaby
In his head it’s a beautiful melody
I haven’t the heart to mutter… it’s actually a blubbering blunder
He looks down where I lie, his soul seeping, my thoughts meandering
Wondering what wanderlust makes him justify his pondering gaze
Thin lips parted partly allowing the sing-song and drawing a crowd around
My dilated pupils put up at the pinholes in the pink canvas above
Suddenly feeling the soft grass and flowers beneath my bare legs
Awareness…my spirit is leaving my body, and freedom comes with peace.