I’m looking for myself today because I’m all alone* I glance out the window and think of my former home *Where have I gone, What have I done, I bend down and pick up a stone*He’s rejected me again, I’m pulling out my hair, will I ever learn? *The rain begins to fall and tempers start to flare*The sound of anger in his voice and his callous stare just breaks my heart and brings me tears*I’m looking for myself today, as he decided not to love me, and is no longer here.
I’m breathless, from running in the meadow deep∼while trying to distinguish the weeds from the trees
I’m panting, mouth open and pleading for more ∼so restless, still moving my tongue back and forth
I’m wanting, from wandering around in the snow∼licking my lips and savoring the cold
I’m falling, from slipping on rocks in the brook∼rubbing my thy up and down where it hurts
I’m confusing sleep with being awake∼fading in and out of dreams as the blood starts to seep.
I watched you kill me a thousand times in life∼before you actually made me die
and now I write to you from the other side∼to say good-bye, beloved Night.
Haunted by your frightening memory and the stormy passion we displayed
I’m now lost amidst the abyss of darkness that surrounds me day after day.
The black sky rains silver streaks of lightning and waves of regret
I look down at vivid colors∼the brilliant display is heaven unabated.
So you finally did it, succeeded in your scheme, but now, my thoughts of you have faded
from somewhere in-between I write to you, my killer∼to say good-bye, beloved Night.
I’m drifting in and out of sleep
confusing dreams with reality∼
The fog in my brain constantly remains
and there’s not a pill to end this pain.
Under the surface of the water she lifts her weary eyelids up and peers
at the sunlit streaming rays pouring through the waves into her soul.
She looks down at her bruised and beaten body-though quite useless at this point
As it lays on the ocean floor beneath.
Shewing the biting fish away she wonders why her spirit hasn’t departed
one way or the other…
Why this hesitation? Why did they leave her behind in the sea?
There are questions to ponder-but somewhere in the wonder
of being caught, in-between, is a revelation of life itself.
She turns and floats deeper into the murky water…
Death came calling but she did not answer.
She envies me the way I play not wanting to give anything away
Her soul knows no bounds and I rest in that fact as I study her every day
Big green eyes with specks of hazel high cheek bones etched as stone
She kneels by the water peering in I wonder what she’s thinking- lost and crazed.
Some former lover have her attention? A personal tragedy making her dazed?
Her frame is worn by weather and time but still I find her being sublime
All the experience, all the things she’s seen..I want to pry it from her fixed eyes
Tell me a story of time gone by, new buildings birthed and old ones brought down.
Couples falling in love and giving birth, the aging families she’s watched as she lounges in the park.
I suppose we’ll leave details for another day because, yet again, she gives nothing away.
Drama dripping, madness slipping from the depths of the downed twin-engine and she frowns
The frozen frame of a future dame she imagines could be the same- noticing her thoughts don’t make sense.
Did I leave the puppy outside in the rain? How could I forget such a thing? What if he’s hungry and all alone…
This must be shock, she decides-and her mangled form goes numb
Steel bends around her body binding her arms…”I’m pinned,” talking to no one in particular.
The pressure against her chest is immense
Soft moans and groans are heard behind- she strains her neck to see.
Four people are in her sights..why did we take this flight? Where were we trying to go?
Glancing out the broken window the pilot lays motionless in the snow
With no memory of how or why- she takes her last breath as a tear falls down her face.